Wednesday, December 29, 2010

First Doctor's Appointment

Christian had his first doctor's appointment this morning, and yes, he screamed the whole time. I am amazed that the doctor can hear anything viable through his stethascope when the kids is screaming.  He said that Christian is a good size coming from an orphanage and appears to be in general good health. He gave me some tips on how to get my liquids down him and how much he really needs.

He wants to check his poop to test for any parasites. So lucky me gets to scoop poop into three tiny vials and get them back to the doctor.  He is eating a bit better and actually inhaled the spinach and cheese raviolis I gave him today for lunch!  Of course the insurance company messed up my paperwork in adding him as a dependent. Now I will have to deal with getting reimbursements, which is such a pain in the butt. I called and of course was put on hold. They said my hold time would be around 10 minutes! Yeah, like I'm going to stay on hold, long distance, for 10 minutes, when it probably would be longer. So I left a message and also emailed them.  Ugh......

He is pretty much ignoring the cats, except to lean down for a little pet on the head, if allowed, and moves on.  The cats are getting used to him and when he is crying, they just look curiously then wander into my bedroom to lounge on my bed. They reappear to sit with me on the sofa when the coast is clear....when Christian goes to bed :)

Christian is down for a nap.  Now nap time for Mommy too!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Photos on Sidebar

I have posted some photos of Christian, when we were in Moscow, right before coming home. You will see them on the right sidebar, scroll down a bit.

In response to his "male model hair", that look only happens when I take off his hat :)  Soon after, it lays down flat and of course, when I want it to stand up a bit, it won't.  It's still pretty short, so I'm interested to see what it will do when it grows some.


Holiday Antics

Our first Christmas with the family went great!  Christian had a great time and got used to everyone fairly quickly I think. We stayed with my sister Beth and her family which worked great for me. She had a crib we could use, toys and two kids that played with Christian. Her husband Bob played with Christian and took him on his first snow sled ride, which he loved!  Beth and Bob helped me a great deal with parenting advice and when Christian had a fit, would give me ideas on how to handle him.  Right now I am figuring out when he is scared as opposed to being a typicaly 2 yr old and having a tantrum.  After the first day and half, he figured out most of the rules and did great after that, with only a few slip ups, which I think is great.

He did very well at Christmas Eve mass and LOVED the music.  He did a great job of opening his Christmas presents, one little piece of wrapping paper at a time, handing me each piece.  The opening took a little time, but he was so cute to watch. My nephew and fiance gave him a helicopter that has music and learning singing things, that he is totally attached to.  We got him to say "kitty" and "doggy" so far, both of which he is scared of. He finally let my two cats get close to him, as long as they were sitting still. The minute they moved, he would get scared again.  They will get used to each other quickly I'm sure.

We're headed back to my house tomorrow so we can continue to get comfortable and familiar in our house.  I'm sure the first night back at bedtime will be another adjustment. His food adjustment is coming along but the drinks are still a challenge.  Someone suggested soymilk, so I'm going to try that.  Someone also said their child was given tea, so when they came home, he was suffering from caffeine withdrawal.....never thought of that.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Home - Day 3

Well I think we are getting into some common territory.  Yesterday was a parade of meltdowns - didn't want to eat, didn't want his diaper changed, didn't want to get out of the crib, didn't want to stay in the crib, on and on and on.  He didn't drink or eat much on Sunday and yesterday he only ate some applesauce and wouldn't drink anything.  I was so worried that he would get dehydrated but people assured me the he would be fine.

So today was a much better day. He ate very well and drank up until dinner time and that was a small battle.  But we weathered the storm.  We had fun today, played, read books, danced to music, and had a short walk outside.  Christian is slowly adjusting to his new surroundings and we are working on the new food types.  He is understanding what I say in English but not saying too much yet. He babbles in his "baby talk" and just gives me a blank look when I try to get him to repeat something I want him to say. The look on his face is so funny!

At 28 mo. old, I guessed he would wear 2T clothes. I took some clothes on my court trip, held them up to him and they looked to be the correct size. However, they are entirely too big.  The shirts I can get by with but the pants won't stay up. So we made a quick trip to Walmart to get some different pants. Ends up, he wears a 18 mo. pant size.  He did really good in Walmart, just sat in the cart, looked around and took it all in. He got accustomed to his surroundings because he started pulling everything off the racks that he could reach. I would put them back and then he thought it was a game and you can imagine how that progressed.  He then let out a loud squeal of excitement, I shushed him, then it was a game. The more we went through the motions, the more both of us laughed and he kept on. His squeal sounds like he's mad so people were looking at us disgusted until they saw we were laughing and then they would smile and chuckle at us. It was funny but we were disrupting people so we had to get out of there.

Well tomorrow morning is bath time, which hasn't gone well in the past, so we'll see what happens in the morning.  I take naps when he does, which works out great, until I get back on our time zone. That 9 hour difference really knocked me off my feet. So here's to having all the meals times go smoothly tomorrow :)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Home and Exhausted

We made it home!!!  The time change is hard on both of us.  The mornings are good but by noon it goes downhill.  It will be much better as the days progress, we get back on a normal sleep schedule and a routine.
Made a dash to the grocery store and he was an angel. He just sat in the shopping cart quietly, looking around taking it all in.

I keep going and looking in on him sleeping, not believing he is finally home with me :) I feel so happy and blessed. I'll post more soon, I'm so tired right now.

Friday, December 17, 2010


I decided to make today our "Gotcha Day".  For those not familiar with what this is, this is a day in the adoption process that you select as your special day when the child becomes officially part of your forever family.  Some people choose their court date, some the orphanage pickup day, some the embassy interview day. I chose Embassy day, which is today!

We went to the embassy and there were about 15 other families there waiting for their interviews as well.  We were meeting each other and chatting about our adoption process stories.  The children being adopted ranged from 10 yrs old to 9 months old.  The parents were from all over the country: San Diego, Philadelphia, Chicago, Kansas City to name a few.  Christian sat there for about 15 minutes before he started getting antsy.  He was getting vocal then wanted to get down off the chair and it progressed from there. So I broke out the puff snacks to bribe him to stay quiet like all the other children were.  An 18 mo. old girl beside us spied the puff snacks and wanted them. The Mom was like, "oh no", and had to get her own puff snacks out.....oops!  At this point, it's every parent for themselves :)  Just kidding.

So now I have a huge packet of the office adoption papers, his passport and we are off tomorrow to the airport to head back to the U.S.!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

1st Full Day in Moscow

HOLY SHIT!  Yes "shit" is the topic for this blog entry. If you are offended, then read no further.
Obviously what I am feeding Christian is playing havoc with his system. He has had so many poopy diapers I have lost count. Of course wise Aunt Cindy, with two kids of her own, has valuable insight for what to do and how to do it.

Eating is not going well. At the orphanage he eats whatever they put in front of him, but not so much with me.  It will take some getting used to "our" food and then I'm sure he'll pick up where he left off, eating large amounts of food. It is so cute when it's time to eat. He sees me bring out the bib, he clutches his chubby little hands together, presses them into his stomach and squeals with laughter, followed by a few little hops before he quickly scambles up into the chair for his food.  Just adorable.

At first the poopy diapers weren't bad to change.  We just kept on as we smelled the evidence, and BOY could you smell it!  We attempted a potty try on the toilet which resulted in meltdown number 3, so we abandoned that mission and moved on.  I kept smelling poop for a few hours after one particular messy change, to realize I had some on my jeans.  Into the wash pile they went. After lunch and the afternoon nap today, I decided I needed to tackle the first bath. He hadn't had a bath in awhile and really needed one.

This caused the mass hysteria meltdown number 4, I do mean hysteria. He is absolutely terrifed of water! We tried to put toys in the tub with him but he just gripped onto the sides for dear life, shaking and screaming, as I washed him as fast as humanly possible while getting all the grime.  I then shampooed his hair which raised the volume level on the hysteria.  But we knocked it all out quickly with Aunt Cindy lending a hand so he didn't slip down into the water.  He was swiftly airlifted out of the evil bathtub into a warm towel and quickly dried off. He was still trembling and crying when I took him in to get a diaper on and clothes on.  We wrestled into the clothes and then I had to change because I was soaking wet.

Not 30 minutes after the Bathtub Battle of Dec 16th, 2010, a day that will live in infamy, did he POOP HUGE AGAIN!!!  I ask you, how much poop can one small 2 yr old boy hold???  For some reason he decided to freak out with this diaper change, when all the others had been cooperative and peaceful. He decided to help Mommy change his diaper. Yes you know before you read on, that this is not going to go well.  I had gotten the one side of the diaper undo, only to have him rip the other side off, flinging the diaper around, where a large dollop of shit fell on the floor. Now, due to the fact the we was throwing a fit at this time, his head was raised up but he put it down, yes in the poop dollop.  You just sighed didn't you....I did too.  So off the clothes come, back into the bathroom, to stick his head under the faucet for a lighting speed shampoo while Cindy held the screaming banshee under her arms.  After that, we were ALL ready for a that thankfully lasted 3 hours. The fun has just begun.....

Then he'll squeal with laughter and I forget about the shit....until the next diaper of course :)

1st Airplane Ride

Christian's first airplane ride went fairly smooth....after the mad dash to get there!
I buckled him in the seat and he didn't make a sound. Of course he had his security transition toy clutched tightly, the infamous "Farmer in the Dell" music box.  He didn't even flinch during the takeoff, and I'm thinking, this is going to be ok.  We managed to feed him and he laid down to sleep.  His bedtime is 8:00 and by now it was 9:30pm.  The drama unfolded when it came time to wake him up to get off the plane.  He slept through the landing so that worked to our advantage. We got everything packed back up and ready to deplane when we had to wake the sleeping banshee.  He went temporarily insane, I am sure of it.  He had a major meltdown, he was SO tired.  The stiff body that is hard to hold on to, the screaming, people staring, the whole shebang!  We managed to get off the plane and by the time we boarded the shuttle bus to take us to the terminal entrance, he had calmed down.

We head to baggage claim and miraculously, all the bags came out pretty quickly.  Sidenote: I spied a cat (yes a real live feline) calmly sitting on a bench by a baggage conveyor, like it was waiting for it's bags or something. It was so funny to see a cat inside an airport. When we came back around to show it to Christian, it had disappeared. Now I know I was tired, but I swear I DID see a real cat!

Into the car we went for round two of the exhausted meltdown.  He quickly fell asleep only to have the sleeping banshe awaken again to get into the apartment we rented in Moscow. It didn't take long to get him to fall back asleep, thank you God, and we managed to fall into bed around 2:00 a.m.

The doctor came to examine him at 6:30 guessed it, meltdown number two.  But it didn't last but 15 minutes (after the scarey doctor left) and we were off to playing.
So it will be interesting to see how he behaves on the 9 hour flight from Moscow to New York and then the next 2 hour+ flight from NY to St. Louis. I pray the flight to St. Louis goes smooth because we depart from Aunt Cindy in New York because she flies back to Orlando from there.  Keeping my fingers crossed and prayers sent for smooth plane rides in our future.

Pickup at Orphanage

We drove the 1 hour and 40 minutes, through snow and unplowed roads, to the small town where Christian's orphanage is located.  As soon as we got there, I felt like they were rushing us around.  I gave them my bag of clothes I brought, they stripped him down, dressed him in the clothes I brought and rushed us out the door.  We did manage to get them to pause so we could get photos of his caregivers, doctor and director.  One caregiver, who really loved Christian, had tears in her eyes when we were leaving and kept calling out helpful hints of what he likes and what to do in certain situations. She also gave me a toy chicken that is his favorite toy and a small bag of food for him in the car. I wasn't expecting to get anything from them so tthat was so kind and appreciated. I am sure Christian will be please with his toy chicken :)

Thank goodness my sister Cindy was with me, because as I was trying to hold onto Christian, in his snow coat and pants that are too big, she was snapping the photos and asking the names of the two caregivers that seemed to love Christian the most. Thanks so much Cindy!!!

We hustled him to the car, buckeled him in and off we went. He was very very quiet in the car, just looking at everything and taking it all in.  It was his lunch time, so we fed him what we could in the car from the food care package they sent with us. Then he crashed for a nap for the rest of the trip.  We had to get some more passport photos done and he did great! I was worried he wouldn't sit still but he did.  Then back to the hotel to play and wait for the adoption rep to bring us the papers and then dashed to the airport.

I am so happy that he is one of those types of children, that when they get overly stimulated, he is quiet and just takes it all in, instead of freaking out :)  We had plenty of those moments later that day and the next.....stay tuned.

Flight Snafu

Whew!  I have Christian in my hands and heading on the last jeg of this amazing process.
We had some snaffus in Kaliningrad, as has been typical in my process.  They couldn't get the birth certificate apostilled in time for our departing flight, so I had to change my flights. That was a HUGE nightmare!  They were rushing me, blaming me and generally bullying me. I was tired and upset, afraid we wouldn't make it to Moscow in time for the US Embassy interview, thus causing me to stay over the weekend and two days next week.  So I pushed them, they pushed back, and after making the flight changes and a mad dash to catch the 8:15 pm flight out of Kaliningrad, we were off to Moscow.  Yes it was thousands of dollars to change the tickets which gave me an ulcer I am sure of it.

We raced to the little regional airport, only to get stuck in traffic because of the snowfall.  Apparently they do not plow the streets here and traffic was a mess. I was so worried that after spending so much money to change the flights, I would have to again because we would miss the flight.  But we made it!
Then our bags were too heavy so I had to pay additional fees.  My driver got into a shooting match, accompanied with large gestures, with the payment window woman, who was shouting back at him. Meanwhile I am anxiously shifting from foot to foot, because we are wasting time arguing and our plane leaves in 15 minutes, we don't have the tickets printed yet, not through security yet, and not to the gate yet. The woman angrily threw the change and receipt in the window tray, I snatched it up and ran off, leaving my driver there to yell "the last word" at the woman.  We rushed through security only to have to dig out Christian adoption paperwork to prove I could take him.  We ran to the security, the woman rushed us through, ran to the gate, only to be told they were running 20 minutes behind.  Really???  Oh well, at least we got there.  Thank goodness Christian just sat in the stroller, not making a peep, taking it all in :)

Friday, December 10, 2010

15 hours to go

In 15 hours I will be on a plane for the last time to Russia and bringing home my little miracle boy!
Everything is packed, except the last minute things like makeup, lotion, hair dryer. etc. I tried to pack as much as I could in as little bags as possible but then they were SO heavy :)
So I switched some things around, will still need help carrying things (yes sister Cindy, that means you) and it will all work.
I am SO excited and probably will not sleep tonight.  My parents came to take me to the airport tomorrow, Thanks Mom and Dad!
Off to take parents to get some dinner.
Will blog during the trip when I can and I plan to blog when we return to home to let you know how our transition is going.
Stay warm!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

86 hours to go

In 86 hours I will be flying off to bring home my son!  I can hardly stand it and wish the time would go faster. I am SOOOOO happy that my sister is going with me.  She lives in Florida and we don't see each other very much throughout the year, so this will give her some "one-on-one" time with her new nephew.  Plus it will be wonderful to share this experience with someone....and help me carry all the stuff I'll be lugging around :)

Based on some advice from a couple of my wonderful readers, I have stocked up on Gerber snacks for the trip. I was worried about how Christian will handle the car and plane rides, but a reader reminded me that his feeling of security is the most important thing and that if I have to hold him in the car instead of being in a car seat, then at that time, that is the best thing for him.  For his sake, I hope his isn't too scared so he's not too upset.

I am just SO excited and can't wait to get him home! I know I've said that so many times, but I just can't stop saying it.  Let's just hope he gets along with my two cats :)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Jet Lag....ugh

Holy cow, this jet lag stinks!  You know I'm just going to get back on my normal time and then turn around and leave again to the other time zones.  Oh well, it is ALL worth every second!
Went to the store this morning to get small snack packs and travel containers of soups, mac-n-cheese, crackers, etc for the trip.  Not sure what he'll eat and I don't want to waste money ordering stuff in a restaurant only to have him not eat it.  I have things that are similar to what he eats now and I also plan to make a trip to the store when I am there to get food he eats now.  When I pick him up from the orphanage, we stay one night in Kaliningrad and then fly back to Moscow for the final 3 days.  We are staying in an apartment, which was less expensive to rent than the hotels, and it has a small kitchenette area with a refrigerator and microwave, so that will work out great.

I'll be taking alot more with me this time; two suitcases, stroller and a pac-n-play unit so he has somewhere to sleep. I'm not taking a car seat because I bought the TSA airline approved seat strap unit thingy. Basically is the same straps in a car seat that is attached to a larger strap that slides over the back of the seat, then the lap belt slides through.  This will be great because I won't have to lug a big car seat around, the the strap unit just folds right up and can be tossed in my carry-on.  It will be interesting to see how he reacts to being strapped into a seat!

Off to take a nap and get some housework done.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Whew!  I passed court today.  YAY!!!!!
My hearing was on Monday, in the morning and it lasted 2 1/2 hours!  They grilled me about being a single mom, my support system, finances, how much time I can be off of work, etc.  I had to stand the whole time and my body was so tense.  I kept locking my knees to keep them from shaking and then remembered from high school marching band, not to lock your knees because it could make you pass out.  That's all I would need, is to pass out in court and then I would be considered unhealthy and not fit.  So I just kept shifting from one foot to the other to keep my legs from shaking. Then I was standing so tense, after it was the social worker's turn to talk and I sat down, my back was killing me.

Then we ended up with a postponement after all that, because the local social worker didn't have all the paperwork she was supposed to have. So we all headed out in different directions to get papers completed, notarized and delivered.  The back we went this afternoon for another 40 minutes.  The social worker got chewed out by the judge and prosecutor (so glad it wasn't me!).  But in the end, they awarded him to ME!  I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders, I tell you what.  I just wish I didn't have the 10 day waiting period so I can get him home.

I didn't sleep last night but I am so exhausted that I'm sure I'll sleep tonight.  I have some interesting tales from that last couple of days but am too tired to post them. I will in the next couple of days.
Thank you all for all the prayers, I know they helped make today happen!
Soon Christian Ruslan Roth will be home with his 'Momma'  :)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Orphanage Visit #4's flippin' cold today!!!
Today was day #4 visit with Christian and my last for this trip.  We had another good day with it's ups and downs.  He came to me after a 3 second hesitation this time, YAY! We did the usual in the little office are again: music box, read the book, toy blocks, checked ourselves out in the mirror ;)  He got a big kick out of "riding around" in the office chair. Yes I was safe :)  We could only spin around so many times because I was getting sick.  The first two days he did not respond to tickling and I thought either he just isn't ticklish or has some sort of sensory issue.  Yes I have been reading all those adoption books and am looking for things and need to stop, you don't have to tell me to relax.  But today he responded to the chin tickle. I prompted each time with a sort of long sound and then would go in for the tickle. After a few times of this, I hesitated and he made the same sound so I went in the for tickle. He picks up things fast and of course I think he is the smartest kid ever :)

The language is going to be tricky I think.  I know a few basic Russian words but don't want to keep using those because I want him to learn the English word. So I say the Russian word followed by the English word so he connects the two. I was pointing out the cats and dogs in the book I brought and he kept calling everything a dog in Russian.  On this last day he said the English word "dog", or at least it sounded like dog.  I'm going with, he said dog :)

I am running the questions through my head they said would be asked of me in court and rehearsing my answers so I sound confident and intelligent.  They did warn me that they may be tougher on me because I am single.  So I just pray I say the right things and that they are translated correctly, that is always an issue too. I am very happy to say they will be using "my Natasha", that I have had all my trips, as the translator in court!  That gives me some sense of ease, that I will know someone in the room.  I will post as soon as I can, with hopefully good news, that I passed court.  In the meantime, off the practice my answers, eat some chocolate and plan my packing list for the next trip to bring home my two year old son.  (I love the sound of that, "son"!)

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Orphanage Visit #2 and #3

YAY!!!  It only took a couple of minutes for Christian to come to me on Day 2 and only seconds on Day 3! Ok, so I bribed him with dangling the music box in front of him but he grabbed it and held up his arms for me to pick him up immediately.  I am so glad he likes that music box and that he connects it with me.  I bring it back each day and he lights up whenever he sees it. Who knows, maybe he's a budding musician :)  Although he does screech, yes screeches, when I take it from him when I leave each day. They wanted me to leave it there but I know the other kids will latch on to it, I'll probably never see it again, and that special connection of the box between us will lessen and I don't want that right now.  I might buy another one when I come home and take it back with me to leave with them on my next trip.  However you just never know if they'll let the children have it or put it up on a high shelf where I see so many other toys right now.  As far as playthings go, they really don't allow much in the playroom for them to play with. They said it causes fights and they have to pick them up constantly.  What!?!? It's no wonder why their delayed in development and motor skills, they have to play with things to develop.  Sweet angels, all of them, I pray they find loving forever families soon.

Christian danced for me again today along with a little karoke to the Farmer and Dell, although the words resembled "La, La, La"....He is enthralled with mirrors, it just cracks me up!  The orphanage is having their old tall water heat radiators replaced so the place was torn up and we couldn't be in the playroom by ourselves, instead we ended up in the office area.  I kept chasing him around (figuratively chasing as this room was about 12'x15') keeping him out of the desk drawers.  He kept asking for me to turn on the microwave thinking it was a TV.  They had a TV in the large playroom this time and some ballet was on the caregivers were watching, nothing kid friendly. They had a full length mirror on a cabinet door that he kept going back to. He would move just past it, then look back, like kids do when they are figuring out the person in the mirror is them.  He was so cute to watch!  Then he would turn to the side and look at himself in a stance and look on his face like he was checking himself out saying,"dang I look good."  I would laugh at him and he would laugh at me. Good thing I have a full length mirror at home! In a moment of fussiness, I brough out my next piece of kid soothing ammunition, a book with kittens and puppies dressed for Christmas or sitting in ribbons, stuff like that. I put him on my lap and read the story to him or tried, as he was flipping the pages back and forth telling something in Russian. He spoke alot more these two visits, even though I have no earthly idea what he said.  He would explore the room, come back, hand me the music box he constantly clutched, held up his arms to be put on my lap, put the book in my hands, take the music box back and tell me to read it (at least that what I interrupted he said).  We repeated this several times throughout our 2 hour visit.

We did have one major meltdown and I still haven't determined the exact reason.  He was coloring with the washable markers I brought, got a little on his hands, and my translator wanted to wash it off immediately. So off we go into the tiny bathroom in the office.  We turn on the water and he freaks out big time!  I make sure the water is warm, put a little soap on his hand, rub away, then pick up the squirming, now bordering on hysterical child, to rinse his hand. I mean major upset, huge tears, red face, the whole thing.  Natasha said she thought it was because the water was cold but he freaked the minute she turned it on. So I'll have to tread lightly and slowly for our first bath time to see if I can figure out what the issue is.   I felt so sorry for him but he calmed down quickly after we left the bathroom.  I hope this isn't a sign that he'll balk at even going into bathrooms because potty training will then be an interesting scene.

We go for another visit tomorrow and then on Monday at 10:00 is the court session. I was briefed today about what they would ask and I am so incredibly nervous. I just pray I answer all the questions the way they like.  Hoping to get some sleep tonight, got only 2 hours last night. Found a place that has good pasta!!!! Yay, a break from PB&J's :)
Thanks for all the support!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Orphanage Visit #1

I got to see my little boy today!!!  He was afraid of me at first, crying and trying to escape into another room, but that is to be expected. If you remember I had the magic music box last time, but that only made him more upset.  After about 20 minutes, and them putting me in a long white doctor's coat (thinking that would make him think I was one of them...yeah right) he finally calmed down enough that I could touch him. Then we progressed to him sitting beside me and now the magic of the music box kicked in. I tentively picked him up (yes I made sure the music box was wound full on) cautious if he would start crying again. He just looked at me with interest. We moved around the room and spied a mirror on the wall, which we had great fun with, or at least I did. I kept making faces at him, he'd stare at me like I was some sort of loon, but eventually he started smiling at me and looking from me to the mirror and back again, trying to figure it all out. I love to watch kids when they have that look in their eye of trying to reason something out.

It was snack time, so in the playroom we went with the other little children. When I was here 3 months ago, there were eight kids including Christian, now there are 16 kids.  They all stopped at stared at me for a few seconds when I walked into the room, and then the non-shy ones, ran up to me, babbling away in Russian and I knodded like I knew what they were saying. So many tiny little faces looking up at me with anticipation, of what they did not know, but for something, anything to happen.  I wanted to play and hug them all but my time with Christian is so short and precious during these visits,  patted them all on the head and moved on to find my son.  He warmed up quickly after we entered the room, running to me to start the music box again and dancing around. (I have GOT to teach this child better dance moves :) ).   The caregivers kept telling him I was his Momma, and told him to give me a hug. He ran to me and threw himself in my arms and gave me a big hug!  I know he doesn't understand who I really am, but that moment will stay with me for the rest of my life. I only wish I had gotten the moment on video.

The caregivers were calling me Momma over and over again so Christian would understand and then another child came up to me, called me Momma, and wanted me to hold her. My heart just broke! The music box was a big hit, again, and all the little children wanted to hold it but of course Christian was having none of that which led to a few tugging matches.  I tried to distract them by organizing a small "ring around the rosey"  circle, dancing and singing to Farmer in the Dell. Hey it was normal but it worked...too well. I couldn't get them to stop ringing around the rosey, whew!

We did have one pretty smooth football play.  Yes those who know me, know I did not know much (ok anything) about football and don't care to but here's an analogy for you.  Christian is sashaying around with the music box when Tatiana goes in for the steal. She charges him, blind sides him, grabs the music box, tucks it under her arm and spins around for the getaway, only to collide with another child (there to assist the steal in my opinion). Now these two girls had been stalking him, waiting for their opening for the steal and they made their move, only to be tripped up by each other. Tatiana goes down, taking the other kid with her, while Christian (who by now realizes what's happened) pounces on Tatiana grabbing for the music box.  Another kids joins the fray,so we now have four screeching tugging kids in a pile, literally in a pile, at my feet.  I hesitate, not sure whether I should start pulling them apart and risk the caregiver coming after me for touching the kids or just wait until I see blood and pray it isn't Christian's. I send a worried glance to the caregivers and the two of them are just sitting there watching the action. I give them a helpless gesture that resembles something like, "really? are you kidding me? you're going to just sit there?" kind of look, which then prompts them to get up and separate the flailing arms and legs.  Finally the screeching stops, Christian gets the music box back and we retreat to safety to the other side of the room.  I feel sorry for the kids because they see Christian gettting attention with the music box and have put two and two together.

Christian starts winding down and supper is coming soon. He allows me to hold him, swaying to the music and eventually he puts his head on my shoulder.  It was such a special moment!  Tomorrow I'll be taking the clothes and shoes I brought to see what fits him for the Gotcha trip. Today he had a nice fleece jacket and pant set.....yellow with flowers all over it.  Girl clothes again! Hey at least the pink hat is gone :)
We'll see if he warms up to me faster tomorrow, I can't wait :)
Rainy and cold here. Had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in Thanksgiving Day.  I will definitely make up for it on Christmas.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

16 Hours and Counting

I leave in 16 hours for Russia!
1. clothes packed - check
2. food packed - check
3. Christian's test clothes and shoes packed - check
4. Christian's toys and snacks packed - check
5. paperwork packed - check
Just have to pack my last minute morning stuff and this laptop, and off I go!

Court is on May 29th, so please send prayers my way!  I am hoping they are not too tough on me because I will be a single mother, pretty worried about this.  I will be in a room with 5-6 other people I do not know. The agency rep is not allowed to go in the judge's room with me but I am hoping they use my translator I've had on all my trips. A familiar face would be wonderful!

Crazy but I have to fly from St.Louis, to Dallas, to Frankfurt then to Moscow.  Going west to travel east......gotta love the airline routes these days.
I'll be posting as I can during my trip. I know you're all sitting on the edges of your seats, waiting in anticipation for my next post :)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Three days and counting

Packing lists are made, laundry is done, packing has started. I'm off Monday morning to Russia for my court date on the 29th!  I get to see Christian 4 days in a row while I am there!!!  I hope we get along as good as we did the first time.  I've been so busy at work this week trying to get things ready for the project team before I leave that I haven't been sleeping very good. I am exhausted but figure I'll get some sleep on the long planes rides.

Tomorrow I have to go the bank, post office, pay final bills, buy food and stuff then drive 2 hours to drop my cats off at my parents house to cat sit while I am gone.  Then home to pack and run around for any last minute things I may have forgotten. This packing will be much easier than the next trip when I have to take a ton of stuff with me for Christian.  I am so glad and appreciative that my sister will be going with me on the next trip to bring him home!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Making Lists

This past weekend a friend came to visit (Susan) and we did some power shopping. We found some great sales!  I got a few more clothes for Christian and found some snow pants on sale.  So now I think I have everything I least for now.  My plan is to take some clothes on my court trip, see what fits, then bring those sizes with me when I go to bring him home.

Now I have to start making my packing lists!  I feel like I am behind but I know I still have plenty of time before I leave on Monday. I'm trying to push and get as much stuff done on my work projects as possible so I don't leave people in a lurch when I am gone.  I still have a few projects I wanted to get done at home before I bring Christian home, but I have conceded that I won't get everything done. I am fine with that, I have the important stuff done.  I do have a few "grandpa" projects for my Dad though :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Ready with Clothing

I got alot of good advice and feedback about the clothing situation. Thanks all!
I go for my court trip, return home for the 10 day waiting period, then go back to bring him home. So I'm taking the clothing with me on the court trip to see what fits and can then bring the right sizes back on the second trip. I have two sizes of tennis shoes and then will buy warm boots for when I go back. I have 2T size clothes to see if those fit.  I need to get some long underwear and snow pants.  Thankfully I got a winter coat, warm hat and gloves from my shower so that's going to work great!

I have lists of what I need to do yet and realized today that I leave in 11 days! I am getting excited but also nervous.  I pray I answer the court questions the way they like and they don't give me too hard a time for being a single mother.  I have been told to expect it and that makes me nervous.  But I figure that I've been through so much that God will see me through to the gloriously blessed end with my son in my arms.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Clothes Plan

I have heard two different scenarios about what happens when I go pick up Christian at the orphanage to take him to the hotel. One scenario is they hand you the child with only the clothes on their back and shoes on their feet.  Ok I can understand this, items are hard to come by, so they keep the other belongings for the other children. The other scenario is they hand you the child wearing only their diaper. Now this is a bit much if you ask me. How traumatic for the child to have their clothes removed, handed to a stranger, who then puts clothes on them, carries them to a car (most have never been in a car before) and drive away.

I've decided I'm going to take a change of clothes and shoes on my court trip.  I get to see him while I am there on that trip, so I'll see if they'll let me try the clothes and shoes on him to confirm size.  At that time I will also ask if he comes with clothes on or if I should bring a set when I go to take him to the hotel with me.  I'd hate to go there without anything and am supposed to have clothes for him.  I wonder what they do if that happens???  I know it is practical, but it also seems sad to me that they take nothing familiar with them, not even a favorite shirt or toy to ease the transition.  I left a stuffed toy/animal with him on the last trip.  I wonder if they let him play with it or if it became someone else's.  Oh well, he'll have plenty of his own things and more love than he might be able to handle when he gets home :)


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Just Did It

I just went ahead and did it.  I called the credit card company and got a balance transfer for the remaining funds I needed.  I did get a good deal at least, 0% interest until Feb. 2012!  Now I just have to tighten up the purse strings to make the monthly payment.  Still praying for a decent sized tax return!

A friend and business associate, Tiffany, told another business person about my adoption. This person, Peggy, also adopted from Russia.  We emailed and met for lunch today and it was wonderful!  It was so incredibly nice to talk face to face with someone that completely understands and has been through the adoption process, especially Russia, and knows what you've been through and how it makes you feel.  She gave me alot of good advice and tips for when I bring Christian home.  She also knows another woman who adopted from Russia, who has a 2yr old, and is going to get us in touch with each other. That will be great! Christian is 2 yrs old also, so they are tracking together, and it will be nice to be support for each other.
A BIG thanks to Tiffany and Peggy!!!

Sending off my final adoption fees to my agency tomorrow.  I've been trying to save every dollar I can and wouldn't you know it, my darn 'check engine' light comes on in my car.....ggrrrrr.  Off to the mechanic I go tomorrow and pray it's just a fluke and the light popped on and nothing is really wrong.  Can I be that lucky....please???
Another beautiful day here, enjoy it will it lasts.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Final Fee Money in Hand

So I have enough money now for the final adoption fees!  However, I don't have it yet for the travel and to cover some costs when we get home.  I have exhausted every avenue, so all that is left to try is to get a balance transfer on my credit card. Visa credit card is running a 0% interest on balance transfers until Dec. 2011.  Even though I hate to go this route, at least it's 0% interest and I'll have the money.  Just need to pray I get a decent tax return amount to put it against the credit card!

I went to Target last night and bought Christian some shoes!  I'm not sure what they will have on him when I get him. When I visited last, he had on pink girl shoes one day and the second day he had on boy shoes but they were too small, leaving red marks on his feet.  A friend has a 2 yr old boy, so I asked what shoe size he wears, and bought a size 6 and 7 shoe, just in case. I'll at least have one pair that will hopefully fit well when I pick him up and then will buy ones that really fit.  They are so small and cute, I'm smiling as I type :)  My nieces and nephews are older now and I forgot how small toddler's things are, just adorable. It's going to be hard to control my spending when Christian gets home, but of course I have to until I get my "loans" paid off.

My sister Cindy, who is going with me on the second trip, was cracking me up today. She called me, I think it was three times, asking questions about filling out her visa request form.  She's already thinking about what she's going to take and we don't leave on our second trip until Dec. 11th.  I am SO relieved, excited and happy that she will be going with me.  I got so lonely the last trip and it will be nice to share the trip with someone as well as some of Christian and my "firsts" together.  I don't think she's figured it out yet, but she's going to be the photographer and video taker :)  Love ya sis!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Loan Denied

The bank denied my home equity loan request yesterday morning.  Freaked out, cried, emailed my friend Susan, then called the bank to see what other options I have.  They don't allow borrowing against your 401k so the only other option I had was a personal loan with a limited available amount, for five years, with an insane interest rate.  But I had to do it because I have absolutely no other choice.  So now I just have to figure out how I'm going to make that loan's monthly payment until I get my tax return back.  Then my wonderful friend Susan called me with a great idea!  She surfed the web and found you can get personal loans from Capital One (thanks Susan!!!!) so I looked into that. I submitted my application online, was approved, but have to talk to a rep on Monday to get the details to see if it's a good deal and then maybe can finalize. Keep your fingers crossed!  This whole money aspect is so stressful I cannot even describe it.  People say, "oh it will be worth it in the end."  Well of course it will be!  But that doesn't help that stress in trying to get money when you don't have it and then the stress of how to make the payments. I honestly don't know how people adopt twice!!!  I'm calling my tax person on Monday to see how bad I'll get hit with taxes if I cash in my company stock.  I just know the second I get my W2, I'm heading to the tax preparer to get my paperwork in to get money back as soon as I can :)

If anyone wins the lottery....remember me please :)
Gorgeous weekend, enjoy it!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Eeekkk....Loan Date

So I have to pay my final agency fee on Nov. 12th. I pray the bank comes through with my loan by then!  I just got a stack of papers to sign today in the mail, signed them and am dropping them back in the mail tomorrow morning. I wrote on the coverletter that I need the loan by Nov. 8th. Let's pray it works!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Second Trip Plans

Just heard from my agency and they managed to shorten my second trip by three days! I am SO happy!  I wanted to get Christian home as soon as I can before I go to my family's for Christmas. I have a large family and don't want him to get too overwhelmed, so the more time I have with him by myself the better.  So now for the second trip I will only be gone 8 days instead of 11....YAY!

I sent my sister the revised dates and hopefully she'll still be able to go with me. I should know in a few days, then I will be searching for flights.  Staying in Moscow is expensive but thanks to my adoption yahoo group friends, they clued me to apartment rentals in Moscow that are much more reasonably priced.  So I looked into that and I found one that will work great I think. It is close to the US Embassay and a grocery store.  It is also close to an interesting historical street with shops and restaurants that we can wander through as time permits.  Someone also said there is a park nearby but being there in December, I am not sure how cold it will be. I plan to wear layers and dress Christian in layers!  I have to wait to receive the "invitation" so I can apply for our visas. It is getting closer and I am getting more and more excited!!!

Friday, October 22, 2010

First Trip Booked

I got my first trip booked for my court date.  Because I was able to book it early, I was able to use some of my frequent flyer miles and saved some money.....YAY!  I'm coming home during the 10 day waiting period and it'll actually be cheaper than if I stay there. So now I have to look into travel arrangements for the second and final trip to bring my son home. I'm still getting used to saying, "my son" :)

I got a cash out on my house loan when I refinanced so now I just have to wait to see if I'm approved for the balance I need to complete the adoption. I'm supposed to hear mid next week so I pray it's good news.
Otherwise I am putting the finishing touches on his room and need to take photos to take to court.
This time in two months we'll be home and starting on our life adventure together.  I am so excited!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Upset with Travel Dates

I got my travel itenarary today and am upset by the dates. The first trip isn't bad, I'm just there during Thanksgiving, but I can handle that. I can't afford to stay there during the 10 day waiting period so I'm coming back home. The second trip is the one that upset me.  I have to travel and be there for 14 days!  I'm upset because again, the cost. I just wish I could get past the cost of everything, but it just keeps adding up and I have no money now.....hence waiting with baited breath to hear if I get my loan.  I thought coming home during the 10 day waiting period would save me money and never dreamed the second trip would be that long. So yes, I am saving money from the waiting period but that money I thought I was saving is now going to the second trip.  Yes I have heard it over and over again, and yes I completely understand and believe it, that it will be all worth it in the end when I have him in my arms. I just don't know how I am going to pay for it when we get home. I just hate that I am allowing my excitement for my "Gotcha Day" being overshadowed by my anxiety about money.  I am going to give it my very best effort to put it in perspective, make a financial plan and look to the positive.
Well of course, I AM going to buy a lottery ticket never know :)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Finally, paperwork done!

Whew!  Finally the court paperwork is done.  YAYYYYYY!!!!!!
The 2:15 drive to Jefferson City to wait 30 minutes for my state background check, then drive back to STL 2:15 was tiring. It was a beautiful day last Friday for the drive but for some reason I was SO tired. I had to stop twice to get a soda for caffeine and then I had an ice cream sandwich for my supper :) So off the documents go in the mail tomorrow morning. Let's just hope the judge is fine with everything.

I got my tentative travel dates today. Looks like I will be flying during Thanksgiving. Not looking forward to that at all. Several years ago I flew to visit my Grandpa and it was a mess, so many people traveling, flight delays due to weather and then they gave our rental car away.  I just pray this holiday travel will be better!

Holding my breath until tomorrow. I'm supposed to hear if my loan is approved...eeekkk!  If it doesn't, several people have given me other money raising ideas from robbing the bank to selling my body.  Well neither of those will happen because if I robbed the bank, I would definitely get caught and selling my body......well enough said about that :)

I came home to find the rocking horse I ordered sandwiched between my screen door and front door! I'm so excited, so that's my project tonight, to put it together.  Let's hope all the pieces are here this time. The other one had some missing pieces so I had to take it back and have another sent.  It's so cute :)
Off to start assembling......good night.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Bank Visit

On my lunch hour today I ran to the bank to beg for a loan. Well not quite beg, but I did shamelessly plan the adoption card. I told the loan officer that I need the money for my adoption and if I don't get the loan, then I have to push back the court date which may be a couple of months.  So those of you who have been through the adoption process know that this is a very real possibility. Yes I am desparate and trying not to freak out, but I have to have a loan and absolutely do NOT want to push my court date.  Well it worked, because the lady surfed around on her computer, asking all kinds of questions, running numbers until we found a loan type and amount the just might work.

Now I have to complete paperwork and give them a couple of pay stubs, submit and pray I am approved.  My credit score is good so that should help. If approved, things will be extremely tight (I'll be living on PB&Js) but I think I can handle it until I get my tax return back. This type of loan will allow me to plunk down my tax return, then it readjusts so the monthly payment will go down, which is what I have to have.  So cross your fingers that I get approved!!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I am shocked, crying and at a total loss as to what to do.  Why can't things go easier for me sometimes....geez!  I've been waiting to hear back about my loan to pay for the final adoption installment, the BIG payment.  An appraiser came last Saturday and I was supposed to hear on Monday. Monday was a bad day for me and then Tuesday was swamped so I sent an email this morning asking about the loan status. Well the appraisal didn't come back as high as they thought so the loan amount I can get is more than two thirds less than what I need.  Yes the tears came.

So now I'm at a total loss as to what to do, where to get the money. A friend at work told me to ask if I can use my 401k as collateral, so I'll ask that tomorrow.  I need the loan over more than the 5 yr. home equity loan they have because the 5 yr length payment, based on how much I need, will be too high a monthly payment for me. So I just got done looking at my bank's website for options.  Looks like a personal loan might work but I'm not sure of what they need, the cap if any and how long it takes to get approved. I have to have the money before I am allowed to travel and if I don't have it then the court date is cancelled and I wait in line for another one which would mean Feb. or March. I never dreamed my house appraisal amount wouldn't be enough but that just goes to show you how much  I know about the financial world.  I've asked my bank person to talk to the appraiser to see why it came in at the price it did. I have to have the money by Nov. 19th so I am trying not to panick and to stop crying but so far am not being successful.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day :)
If anyone has any advice on how to get the money (legally of course) I would appreciate any insight.

Work Friends Baby Shower

Last night my work friends gave me the nicest baby shower!  The food was great (as you would expect from Shelba, Cindy and Suzanne), the flowers were gorgeous (sitting looking at them right now, keeping an eye on my cat as she is eyeing them) and it was so nice to chat with everyone.  You know you see them a work everyday but when you're out of the office, you just relax and can actually "talk" to them, it's different and nice.  We had two token men attend, thanks for bearing through Steve and Ray, I appreciate it :)

Everyone was SOOOO generous with their gifts, thoughtful and creative.  You wouldn't expect less with a group of architects and designers right.  I got my running stroller so off Christian and I will go to get me back into shape :)  I got a wagon which I LOVE and it was useful too because we packed everything into it and rolled it out to my car.  Ray helped load it in the back of my SUV and I thought "sure, I'll have no problem getting out once I get home."  Wrong!  I did finally get it out but not without almost dropping it twice, almost scratching my car and almost smashing my fingers. But none of that happened, I only smacked my upper arm on the door frame which of course will bruise but it's not the first nor the last.

I just HAD to immediately put the rocking horse together only to realize that one last vital screw was missing. So on the hunt in my Dad's workshop I will go this weekend to find a match...he doesn't know that yet :)
My friend Amy (yes another woman with a wonderful name) gave me an incredibly creative gift I thought. It's a Christmans ornament that is plaster that you make a mold of the child's hand.  So our first Christmas and one of his first Christmas ornaments will be of Christian's hand! I love that!
I got such a wide variety of stuff from clothes, toys, books, gift cards, winter coat and hat, and wonderful words of advice.
Thank you to everyone that attended and gave Christian such wonderful and thoughtful gifts. I truly appreciate it!!!

Friday, October 8, 2010

MORE Paperwork

Just when I thought I was done with the paperwork....
Some of my documents either expired plus the judge wants more because I am a single mother. So the mad rush to get the documents ready, notarized, apostilled and to the agency.  A HUGE thank you to Chris for dropping whatever she is doing to notarize by ya!  I now have to figure out which one and where to get my State Police background check one.  If it's just me getting the documents together I am fine but when I have to wait for someone else to give them to me I get nervous because they don't get them done as fast as I would like.

Today was a day for waiting, which when I am tired, is definitely not pretty on me :)  I had to wait 50 minutes for my documents to be apostilled while I watched four other people come and go while I waited...grrr.
Then I had to get two new tires. I was told it would take 1 to 1 1/2 hous. I went across the street to wander through Target to try to stay awake. I traveled this past week for work and didn't sleep well in the hotel rooms so I was looking forward to a nap :)  I came back 1 1/2 hours later and as expected they were not done.  They said it would another 30 minutes so off I go to the oh so lovely and clean (being sarcastic here) cramped waiting room.  Another hour goes by and my car hasn't moved. I proceed to the front desk, ask how much longer it will be and get a vague answer.  So I calmly and politely (really, I was calm and polite) explain to the desk guy that I was told it would be about 1 to 1 1/2 hours and by this time it was 2 1/2 hours, and how much longer would it be. Well $400 and 3 1/2 hours later, I'm leaving the tire place.  Yes I went home and took a nap :)

Tomorrow I'm going to work on completing my son's artwork I am making for his room. I am very excited and hope I don't mess them up!  It's supposed to be nice weather this weekend (fall is my favorite season), so everyone have a nice weekend!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Court Date!

I got the call this afternoon! My court date is Nov. 29th.  I was a little disappointed because the whole time my agency has been saying it would be the end of October.  I didn't want to travel so close to Christmas but with these things you have no choice.  She told me the end of October was looking good until the judge decided to go on vacation...ugh.  So to keep the disappointment at bay, I am trying to look on the positive side.  I have been rushing around, wearing myself out, trying to get so much done before he comes home, but now I can slow down a bit.  It will also give me more time to learn Russian so I can communicate with him a little bit :)  With the traveling being in December, I'll have to wait and see if my sister can still go with me to bring him home. I really pray she can because I want to share the experience with someone and also have some help carrying him and all the stuff I have to take too!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Proof and Shower

Mom and Dad came to visit this weekend to help with my "to do" list.  Mom sorted hand-me-down clothes, that friends have given me, into piles based on size then type. Dad fixed my back gate latch, added latches to my attic and basement doors and helped me add shelves to my cubby unit.  The cubby unit project was frustrating and took longer than we wanted but we got the holes drilled, shelves in and canvas totes put back in place.  WHEW!  We did take a few breaks to go out to dinner and my Mom just HAD to go see the new casino and play a little. I must say the new River City casino is very nice, LOVED the red glass chandaliers!!! 

My gal friends has a shower for me today.....they are WONDERFUL! We all got a chance to catch up, update them on the adoption status, eat and open presents.  A group bought me my bed!!! I was sooooo excited!  My fried Molly helped me unload it at my house and I immediately put it together.  I'm very proud of myself that I got it together all by myself and the bedding put on. Now the room looks like it's finally coming together. The designer in me is a little "off balance" because I have three different wood finishes going on in the room, but when you have to use some stuff you already have, you do what you have to do. I keep going back into the room and just looking around at how it's changed and can't wait to see Christian in it soon.  I'm still waiting to hear the court date and hope they're still pushing for the end of October.
Thanks to all my gals for the wonderful shower :)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Room Getting Better

Bedroom is painted, curtain sheers are back up and most of Sunday's shower gifts are put away. I put the stroller together only to find out the handles are too low for me. I've not even all that tall, just 5'-8" but have to bend to the handles which will kill me later I'm sure. So tomorrow I'm taking it apart, put it back in the box (which will be a feeble attempt because once you take those out you can never get them back in the box) and take it back to Walmart.

My nephew got Christian this toy steering wheel that has buttons to make it light up, lights run and LOUD sounds come out. My two cats FREAKED out! :)  I need to play with it once in awhile so they get used to noise so when Christian comes home they'll be ready. Ok, so it's really just that I want to play with it :)

I'm not a fan of ceiling fans from an aesthetic standpoint, however from a practical standpoint they are great. The one I have is an ugly gold shiny unit with bad woodgrain laminate fan blades.  I got this bright idea that I could paint it, so I did.  I painted the gold part a brownish copper (not shiny) and then tried, I repeat, tried to paint the fan blades.  I ruined them, they looked terrible!  So I painted them with Kilz and spray painted them a "maple" color tonight and I think I resurrected them. Whew, didn't really want to have to spend money to fix a stupid mistake on my part.....not that I haven't had to do that before :)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Baby/Toddler Shower

My sisters, Beth and Lisa, had a baby/toddler shower for me this afternoon. It was so nicely done and we all got to visit with our cousins we haven't seen for awhile. My sister Cindy joined us via Skype which was great!  I got some wonderful gifts, photos and memories to share with Christian when he arrives.
Now to get it all organized :)
I've never been married, and this is my first child, so I've never had any type of shower thrown for me before and it's alot of fun.  Like my birthday but not really :) Thanks everyone!!!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Room Getting Closer

I am getting closer to having Christian's room done. I painted ALL day today and am exhausted but am happy with the results.  I still have to find places for some items I kept in his room. I really need a week to just go through my basement and attic and get rid of stuff but don't have the time. So I'll be doing it a bit at a time along with everything else :)

Now I need to finish his artwork I am making for his room. I am very excited about it and hope the finishes product looks like I'm expecting.  Not much to report today, I am just so tired.  Later

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Getting Overwhelmed

My agency told me they are trying to get my court date for the end of October. So I have been working toward everything with that timeframe in mind, only to realize how fast it is approaching!  I had this creative burst and decided to make the artwork for Christian's room. Yes it is taking me longer than I thought it would!  It would go much faster if I could use the computer and printer at work but we can't use company equipment for personal use (which I understand) but shoot, it would work so much better :)  My little inkjet printer is having a hard time keeping up and those ink cartridges are not cheap.  But when I get them finished I think I'll be happy I did it and hopefully Christian will like them.

Then I have to make a photo album for court and all my family and friends have been great either letting me take their photo or getting me photos of their family.  I have it all done except I just need to add the photos of his completed bedroom, and I have ALOT left to do on that.  I plan to get alot done on his bedroom this least that's my thought right now.  If I could just get rid of these allergy headaches it would be great.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Daycare Finalized

I committed to a daycare yesterday!  That was some process, whew.  My fabulous friends Susan gave me a long list of what to look for in a daycare and what questions to ask. I did everything on the list and the daycare people said they were impressed...thanks Susan, you're awesome!!!

I looked into the "facility" types and they were just too expensive for me.  Plus one I evaluated couldn't give me straight answers when I asked if they had had adoptive children from other countries and how did the work with them on the language barrier in the beginning. She danced around the question which made me uncomfortable so I passed on that facility...they were too expensive anyway.

I ended up with a business in the home, licensed, caregivers take continuing education classes and are CPR/First Aid certified.  The lady who owns the business was so nice and I felt like she was a genuine person, just a good gut feeling you know.  I checked her references, all panned out good and her cost is in my budget, so I gave her my deposit check.  It felt good to get that finalized and marked off the list!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Room Ready, Well Almost

About half way there!  It has been a challenge getting Christian's room ready. I have a two bedroom house and the "spare bedroom" has a bed set but also has my computer desk, bookcase, shoe tub, and pretty much a dumping ground for other things.  I only have one closet in the house (not counting a very narrow hall closet that just holds a few coats and towels by the bathroom) and of course it's in the spare bedroom.  My bedroom furniture doesn't fit in the spare room as I thought I would switch rooms so I could still use the closet.  Well after all the purging I could do, I'm going to need that closet so he's just going to have to share with Mommy :)

Over the weekend I worked like a fiend and got all the loose stuff relocated to either the attic or basement (of course I had to organize some of those areas to make room for the relocated stuff....small house) and now just have to move the furniture out, which my nephew said he would help with. I want to get the furnitur moved out soon so I can get the painting done.  It is currently a sage green and of course the bedding I really like is not the same green, not even close enough to fake it, so I will be painting.  It's getting exciting seeing the room come together, in reality and in my mind, it's makes it even more real somehow.  I am excited about my "artwork" plans, trying to be creative, and fun at the same time.  I'll give you more details on that later, gotta get to work.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Name Rudeness and Car Seats

So I am getting a little annoyed with the people that give me a negative tone and look when I tell them Christian's middle name.....RUDE!  I kept his Russian first name as his middle name because I wanted him to have a connection to his heritage.  The name is Ruslan (roos-lawn) and it's a very "Russian" name. I know it's not one we normally, if have ever heard, in the US but it IS his name. I just think it's very rude for people to act that way and I'm about ready to respond back and embarrass them so they next time before they act like that to anyone else. Yes those who know me are sitting there in shock that I haven't piped off by now :)

Been researching car seats and am losing my mind! Just when I find one that I think is a decent price, meets airline standards, isn't too heavy (and of course looks decent) I compare it against the safety list my friend sent me, and low and behold, it's on the "not recommended" list. Of course the ones that are the "best bet" are $230+. So I gave up for tonight, again, and will continue my search this weekend.  Sigh.....

Monday, September 6, 2010

Surprise Baby Shower

I had my first baby shower yesterday!!! It was a surprise and soooo amazing:)  It was also sort of weird for me. I have never had a shower of any sort (attended many) and to have one for my child and not be pregnant is a funny feeling. They are a wonderful group of women that I have gotten to know over the years. They are college friends of my sister's, all who have stayed in close contact and get together regularly over the years. They stretch across Illinois from Chicago to St. Louis and they have been there for each other through weddings, babies, birthdays and annual get togethers. Being close to my sister, I have tagged along over the years and gotten to know this group of people. They are so much fun and truly good people and I am so glad that my sister has them in her life.  She is very blessed.

Last night was one of their annual parties at my sister's house and I was hanging out with them.  They called me into the living room to gift bags overflowing and a beautiful cake that read "Welcoms Christian".  Tears came to my eyes and then all of the sudden I was self conscious being the center of attention. Their little girls attended the impromptu shower while the husbands and little boys played outside.  The little girls were as excited as I was! They gave me a wide variety of gifts from toys to clothes to books to name a few.  They also gave me alot of toys and clothes their kids have outgrown which was wonderful!

My other sister helped me register this weekend which was so much fun! I just clicked away with that scanner gun anything and everything I think I'm going to need.  I hope I get some of the big items because it would be easier for me to fill in with the smaller ones, but I will be grateful for whatever I get.

I am missing Christian!  I showed his photo album I made to anyone who wanted to see it. Of course I had to tell the stories about each photo and the more I did the more I miss him.  I pray my court date comes fast so I can get there and bring him home! I know every prospective adoptive parent feels the same way.
I just have to send off a couple of court documents tomorrow and then I sit and wait.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Name, Paperwork and Leave

I named him Christian Ruslan ("roos-lawn").  Ruslan is his Russian first name so I kept it as his middle name to keep a part of his heritage.  The minute I told people his name, pretty much everyone said they loved it.  A couple of people said, "oh we can call him Chris for short".  AAAHHHH! That was the one reason I hesitated so long to pick Christian because I do NOT want him to be called Chris!  Maybe that's being too anal but I just LOVE the name Christian and I had some "moments" on my trip that lead me to that name which makes it that much more meaningful to me.  I will just politely correct people and hope for the best.  Hey, I'll have my little boy, and that's the only thing that will matter.

Now that I have gotten back to a normal sleep schedule, I am completing my final court documents.  I was having trouble getting anyone to provide my Statement of Residence letter but after a mass email plea to friends, a friend of a friend's mom is a realtor and agreed to provide the letter. I hope the remaining documents arrive in the mail tomorrow, then I get them apostilled and mailed off to Russia.

When I was there, my in country rep delivered my completed court papers that I hand carried over there to the judge.  The judge asked if I was married or single, my rep responded single, and the judge made a negative "noise".  I asked my rep if there's going to be a problem and said I might have to provide some additional information which would be a complete psychiatric evaluation and a photo album of family and friends to show I have support at home.  Before I went to Russia I went ahead to get my letter from the psychiatrist, he had me go ahead and take a test anyway. His wife and he adopted a child from St. Petersburg, he knows the drill and said they may ask for it later so just do it now and get it out of the way.
So glad he suggested that because it looks like I need it and it's already done!  YAY!  I'm actually ahead on something :)  Now to find out what the last phase fees are so I can go to the bank to request my loan. 

I will be staying home 6 weeks with him after I return back to the US.  My work doesn't have a program for adoptive parents and neither does my disability insurance, it's only covers biological births, which I think is crap!  I don't have enough vacation time to cover the 10 day waiting period in Russia and the 6 week home stay, so I hope my bank will allow a little bigger loan because I can't go 3 weeks without pay.  So the financial stress is still there but I will just keep praying that God will provide one way or the other.

So now I start getting the baby room ready and wait for "THE" call :)
I'm  not that smooth of a writer (as you can tell) so I can't find the words to express how much I appreciate all your support and prayers. I know the prayers helped me find my little boy this last trip and I just want to say God Bless You All!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Adoption Success

OMG! It truly IS a miracle, I have success in my adoption!!!!!!!

The little boy I came over to see originally did not work out due to medical issues. I was very upset because before we went there, the Director told us that they did not have any other children that were available for adoption if I declined this boy. My agency people here felt so sorry for me that they called him back and pushed a little for them to look again in the files. So they showed me the file of another child, a little girl, but I had to decline to even meet her based on medical conditions in her file. At this point I was convinced it was over for me on this trip as we left the office. My rep stayed behind to talk to the Director. She told me that he said he didn't think I was ready to adopt and that I was looking for a perfectly healthy child which they do not have. She explained to him that I AM ready to adopt but I cannot accept a child with severe special needs, which the children they showed me had. He said he would think about it and to call him the next day.

The independent doctor I hired that flew in from Moscow was such a wonderful lady. She felt so sorry for me but kept reassuring me that the child meant for me is out there some where. She bought me dinner, she was very concerned about how upset I was and said that carbohydrates would do the trick (like I need any more carbs) so we had a pizza.

Wednesday morning (gosh it feels like I've been here a month!) the Director called and said he had a child for us to see. Off to his office we go, read the file, it all looks promising, so I am excited but extremely cautious at this point. We drive 1 1/2 hours to the orphanage, most of which I slept, to find it was the same orphanage I had been at on my first trip. Yes I was worried based on my last experience but in we went.

The child is a little boy, 2yrs. old and was scared to death when he saw us and cried of course. We went into a playroom and let him just wander until he calmed down. Eventually he would play with me but at a distance. I coaxed him with a music box I brought that worked like magic. Who knew "The Farmer and the Dell" song would be such a hit :) I better not lose that box! I took some photos and videos, talked to the caregivers and doctor at the orphanage to get all the information I could. I then sent it to my two US international adoption doctor specialists to get their insight. All their comments back back positive! We went back today and he responded much better to me and warmed up much faster and even let me hold him! At this point I am still cautious but want to jump around in happiness. I had some alone time with him, then watched him play with the other children, eat lunch and then it was nap time so we had to leave. We then went to the city children's hospital to talk to the doctor there and she had the same positive information.

So based on the medical information, his interaction with me and how I felt, I decided to accept him!!! So tomorrow we run around signing papers, notarizing, apostilling, etc. and I have to think of a name by tomorrow too! His name is VERY Russian, so I decided to give him an "American" first name but keep his Russian first name as his middle name to maintain that connection to his heritage. So names have been flying through my head all afternoon but after looking at the photos and videos again, I have decided what he "looks like" and have chosen a name. Yes I'm going to keep you in suspense :)

I leave for Moscow late tomorrow night, spend the night in Moscow, then leave early Sat. morning for home. It will be good to get home :) I've not adjusted to the time change and am completely exhausted. My hearing is now fine tuned like a dog with a dog whistle, because when someone speaks English, I hone right in on it and head toward it like a moth to a flame :) If I knew German that would have been a plus as that seems to be their second language. So once I am home, I do more paperwork and wait 2-4 months for a court date. Then back I come, court and then bring him home!

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for everyone's words of encouragement and support, it means so much to me!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Visit to Orphanage

Unfortunately the stars are not aligned with me so far on this trip....very sad.

The little boy I've been waiting 2 1/2 months to finally see was adorable, with big brown eyes and long eyelashes. Sadly those beautiful eyes cannot make eye contact hardly at all as well as a large lack of reaction to stimuli (i.e. tickling) which is indicative of autisum. This evaluation was done by my independent doctor from Moscow who specializes in pediatric adoptions and is the top in this area as well as being trained in western medicine, so I could understand what she was saying in "American" medical terms. So after I cried yet again, and they sympathetically consoled me, assuring me "my child" was on their way, they took me back to the hotel to take some Tylenol and a nap while they ran around to get the paperwork in order. (that's a part of feeling sorry for myself). I tell you, it was VERY difficult going through that again, but even worse by myself....miss you Beth :)

I tell you what, I am sure learning ALOT about the various pediatric challenges children have, so much so, that I might go to med school....yeah right! The people who know how I freak out at the sight of blood and my low tolerance for pain are laughing at me right about now.So they showed me another referral, a little girl; a photo and basic medical info but from this it was VERY obvious that she has classic fetal alcohol syndrome. So I declined to even meet her because I knew it would not work out and quite frankly did not have the emotional energy for it again in the same day. So they found me a third referral that I am to go see about tomorrow morning, and if it looks good, then I go meet them. I do not know right now if it is a boy or girl or what age. They told us that if I decline this referral, they're going to "boot me out" of this region and send me to another one!  I am very upset about this because that means more paperwork, more money and more time. I have already "lost" so much money now, that I have to seriously sit down and think when I return as to whether I will be able to even continue with the adoption process.

So I would appreciate it if you could keep the prayers coming because I am exhausted and losing hope. But maybe after I eat my chocolate bar (found one for $2.00 instead of the $4.00 I paid last time) and a good night's sleep, I will feel more hopeful tomorrow.

Sorry the news is depressing but maybe tomorrow you will get a FABULOUS email from me :) Thanks!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Frankfurt Stop

Well I won't be able to email every day like I'd hoped because the hotel I'm staying in this time makes you pay for internet and it's timed! Boy it's amazing how spoiled you get about some things. So that means my emails will be less frequent but longer...YAY! I'll try not to be too wordy but that's hard for me :)

Spent the night in Frankfurt on my way over and it was beautiful! Stayed in a historical part of town; beautiful buildings, "farmer's market" happening in the "platz" square by the catherdral, children playing in the fountains, I felt like I was in a movie. I walked around, took lots of photos as I made my way to the Rheine River. The streets were winding like Venice and I lost my map and finally found someone who spoke a little English. The blue street signs run parallel with the river while the red ones run toward the river. Got it, off I go. I found the river and sat on the steps that lead down into it and did some people watching and river watching, just chillin' and relaxing. Bought some "German ice cream" from a street cart on the river (it had a long line of people so I figured it was safe to eat). It was wonderful and I wandered (literally because as this point I am still theoretically lost) back to the hotel, eating my ice cream while the sun was going down. Like I said, a movie.

I visited the Old Cathedral, that was being renovated, the same one I attended Sunday mass at. As all those old churches are in Europe, it was breathtaking and had such a prescence. Yes I took alot of photos! I made a MAD RUSH to the airport the next morning. I took a taxi to the hotel only to find out after the money conversion that I spent $71...ouch! So I took the train back to the airport for $14...much better. However, the train was late so I was running which wasn't pretty. But I made my flight and it all ended up working out.
Your continued prayers are appreciated and still needed :)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Running and Packing

I spent alot of this week running around getting my court documents prepared, notarized and apostilled.  I wanted to get as much done as possible so I can submit it fast and hopefully get a fast court date.  I messed up the dates on some of my documents so I had to do them twice....ugh!  At least I've hit the threshold dollar amount and don't have to pay for anything else when I get it apostilled.  I'm am having a hard time getting anyone to provide my Statement of Residence.  It's simple letter with basic information about my house: address, square footage, year it was built, how many rooms and what are the room sizes. I have it all complete, I just need a bank, real estate company, lender or title company to confirm the information, print it off on their letterhead, sign and notarize. I've contacted all of the above with the exception of my realtor, because they're out of business, and no one wants to provide the letter. Not sure what I'm going to do.  I'm going to call my adoption rep to see if anyone else has run into this issue and what they did to solve it.

Packing is all done except for my laptop :)  I leave for the airport in three hours!!! I am getting nervous to travel over there by myself. I know I'll be alright, it would just be nice to have someone share this with me but the money just wasn't there to take someone with me this time.

I'll try to post while I am there to keep you updated on my progress.  Wish me luck and send prayers please :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Freaked Out and Pondering

So my adoption agency rep completely freaked me out today!  She gave me the list of court documents to get started on them.  So today she sends an email asking what I've got done and depending on the time, I'll have to hand deliver some.  I looked at the checklist again and it said I had to have ALL the documents before my first trip!!!  WHAT?!?!?  I frantically call her AND email her because there is no possible way I can get my doctor's appointment/evaluation done before I leave. Then I got freaked out because if I need all this and don't have it, I'll have to cancel my trip and lose that money.  Oh yeah, I am under alot of stress :)  She emailed me back and said the checklist shouldn't say "before your first trip" and that whatever I can get done before I go on Friday to better off I'll be when I get back.  Whew!  Talk about me overracting, I was having heart palpatations I swear :)

I laid out everything on the bed to put in my checked bag and it makes me ponder.  I don't have near the amount of stuff I had on my first trip so that begs two questions: 1. what am I missing or; 2. did I just overpack that much the first time.'s just plain obvious that I need to keep my snacks in my carry-on, heaven forbid I lose that! :)  I am trying to lighten my carry-on bag load but I just seem to "need" everything I have in there.  My sister lost her bag on the way over when she went with me and of course they found it two weeks after we got back to the U.S.  So I am paranoid I'll lose my checked bag so I'm overloading my carry-on bag. But it's just plain too much so I'll have to taper down and hope for the best.

Here's to getting some sleep tonight....hopefully.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Paperwork and Lists

I took my test for my psych evaluation this morning. It was 536 questions and my hand ached after filling in those little circles. Some of the questions could be answered either way, let's just hoped I picked the right one.  It takes 10 days to get the results and then I have a sit down with the Doc for the evaluation which is the Monday after I get back.  Right now my FBI fingerprints haven't expired so I'm hoping my court date falls under that date because those take weeks to get back.  I'm having a tough time getting my "Statement of Residence" letter completed. I have to send it to my mortgage loan holder and that has switched hands three times in two years, doesn't make it easy.  Makes me want to change my loan to my main bank.....might look into that when I have time.

I made three lists tonight for the trip: 1. what left to purchase; 2. what to pack in my carry-on; 3. what to pack in my checked suitcase.  I plan to get everything in one big suitcase, then have my carry-on with a change of clothes, contact solution, book, snacks, camera, laptop and then stuff a backpack in there to use when I'm running around during the week. I did the backpack things last time and thought it worked great!
I've been putting things in my suitcase as I think of them and realized it was pretty heavy already and wondered what I had accumulated.  Well to my surprise, one of my cats wanted to travel with me and made camp inside my suitcase, hence the extra weight and believe me, he's no small cat! I feel bad leaving my two cats, they don't eat much when I am gone.....yes I am an animal lover.  Hopefully I'll be bringing home a playmate for them soon :)

Getting more excited as it gets closer but am still cautious.  I pray I don't get on that bad emotional rollercoaster again this trip, it is so heart breaking .  Staying positive!  Hope I can sleep better tonight.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Starting Court Documents

I thought I'd get a head start and do as many of the documents required for court as possible now. Yes I am trying to be positive that this is the child for me :)  If the information gathering was just on my shoulders, I would be in good shape, but for some I have to get information from other people. I just hope I can get them to return it by the date I want.  My plan is the have everything completed by the end of the week when I return home, that way I can get it to Russia ASAP and hopefully get a fast court date.  It will be so hard to be with my little guy for a week, then have to leave for 2-4 months!  But a few people have told me that some areas are assigning court dates within a month so I'm praying that's me.

Was a little concerned about the fires around the Moscow region but my rep assured me that most of the flights are still on time. On my way over, I only have a layover in Moscow in the airport but on the way back, I have to spend one night in Moscow.  So I'm packing a few face masks has people who have just returned have recommended.  So tomorrow I make my list of what I need to pack.  I am tired yet energized at the same time, strange huh?


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Travel Arrangements Made

They're all done!  After stupidly thinking I could arrange the flights myself, I gave in and called a travel agency.  I did book a flight with my frequent flyer miles to get my as far over there as I could and had the travel agency get me the rest of the way to Kaliningrad via Moscow.  So I saved $600 but still had to spend $1380 on flights which kind of stinks.  I lay over one night in Frankfurt and used my Hilton stay points for a free night!  I tried that too for the night on Moscow but the hotel was booked. I'm going to keep checking back though in case there's a cancellation.

I've started on my court documents already and want to have most of them complete before I leave, if possible. I still have alot to do for the trip so I may not get as much of the documents done as I want but I'm going to try.  I made the doctor's appointments for the second day after I return home because it usually takes weeks to get on their calendar. The faster I get my court documents done and sent to Russia, the sooner I"m assigned a court date.  Then back I would go for court, the 10 day mandatory waiting period and then home with my little angel, God willing.

Then I get an email earlier this evening that the government is cautioning people from traveling to Russia because of the forest fires.  So tomorrow I'll contact my agency rep to see what they think. I will only be laying over in the airport on my way to Kaliningrad which is a 2 hour flight west of Moscow, no where even remotely near the fires. Then on the way back, I do stay one night in Moscow.  However, on the Russian Yahoo message boards that I am a member of, read daily, and get amazing advice and support, there are families over there now and they seem to be handling it in Moscow.  So I'll see what my rep says but I really want to continue to travel and am pretty sure I will.

So keep the well wishes and prayers coming, I truly appreciate them more than words can say :)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Going to Russia!

YAY!!!!  I decided yesterday to accept to travel and meet my little boy referral!  As you know, I have been agonizing over some medical tests I was waiting on answers for.  Well I got them and the three doctors I had look at them say they look good.  There is always a chance for something else, but I have asked and gotten as much information as absolutely possible. I got the final doctor evaluation on Monday and let my rep know Tuesday morning that I want to travel.  She tells me that they want me there fast so I leave pretty soon - due to security I don't want to annouce the exact dates :)

Now I am rushing around getting my visa and travel arrangements made.  After that I will tackle the list of what to pack. I did learn from the first trip what I took but didn't need so that's good.  He is 16 mo. old already!  If I accept him, then I'll return home to more paperwork, wait 2-4 months for a court date and then return to the 10 day mandatory waiting period and bring him home!
I am SO excited but also a nervous wreck!  I pray he is the one because I am out of money and more than likely won't be able to continue the adoption if I don't come home with an acceptance.  So everyone send me your prayers please!!!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Looking Better and Better

One doctor has positive things to say about the medical tests! I am waiting for my initial doctor in St. Louis to respond to me (the one who was out of town last week) and hope to hear from her tomorrow.
There may still be some unforseen challenges that may not arise until I see him or even after, but that is the leap of faith you take in adoption.  So if my local doctor gives relatively positive news like the other, then it looks like I may be traveling to Russia again soon.  YAY!
Stay tuned.....

Friday, August 6, 2010

Rush to Find Another Doctor

I tell my agency rep Wed. afternoon, that my regular IA doctor is out until next week. She says she'll have to talk to the in-country rep because waiting until next week may be a problem. So of course I freak out that after all this, I may lose this referral. So I send a frantic message to the adoption Yahoo message boards and check my blog, to find that fabulous people have given me advice that I should find another IA doctor and provided names of ones that would respond quickly.

So I call the first one, she is in go.  I call the second one, she can review my information and turn it around in 48 hours, for an expedited fee.  So $750 later (another unexpected cost) I talk to her last night for an hour.  She was EXTREMELY thorough, listened and answered all my questions completely and so I could understand.  She is a native Russian, went to medical school there, then moved to the US and went to medical school here too.  So she knows the Russian system inside and out, knows what their medical terms really mean to us in the US and what is typical care in the orphanages. She makes periodic trips over there to keep abreast of how things are run so she can stay up to date with the current situations. I was VERY impressed and felt VERY comfortable with her.

She had one major question that we need the answer too before I will accept to travel.  So this morning I asked my local rep if we could find out WHY they had a certain test done because that might tell us alot.  She said she would ask the in-country rep to see if she can find out. I ask if it's ok that I wait to make a decision to travel until I hear back from her and she says "no problem."  I was a little mifffed because I have been in a panic the last two days because she said it might be an issue if I wait to decide and now it's "no problem" AND I spent $750!  But I am trying to see the silver lining and I think that it's that I found another great doctor to give me a second opinion and the fee I paid includes her to review the information, photos and videos I will take while I am in Russia. So I will have two doctors opinions which, in the end, will be great reassurance for me.

I am praying this all works out, that's he's healthy so I can accept him and bring him home soon!!!
Stay tuned to my saga :)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Waiting Again - Ugh

So I sent the test results to my local doctor on Monday and was hoping for a fast answer. I left a message with their office secretary on Monday and Tuesday and again today to leave a message for the doctor to check her email. I have not been sleeping because I can't keep my mind from racing back and forth to believing it will be good news to scared it won't be good news.

I've been carrying my cell phone around on my hip (which I hate doing) but don't want to miss the call. It's the secretary.....only to tell me that the doctor won't be in the office this week.  WHAT?!?!?  Did she know this on Monday and Tuesday and this morning when I called and just space out????  My heart hit my stomach and tears filled my eyes, I was incredibly disappointed.  So now I continue to wait and hope I hear something on Monday.  Of course I am traveling for work next week and hope I'm not on a plane but sitting at my lay-over when she calls because as we all know, whenever you call back they are never able to take your call.  Sigh.....I just pray this wait is a good sign.  Now if I can get some sleep while I wait :)

Monday, August 2, 2010


I got the test results from Russia just moments ago!!!  I sent them immediately to my local doctor for interpretation and recommendation.  I am SO excited I can hardly stand it but want to stay reasonably cautious so I'm not devastated like I was before.  As soon as I emailed the test results to the doctor, I called her office to tell the secretary to leave her a message to check her email.  I hope that wasn't too rude but I can barely stand the wait now that I have the results I have waited two months for. I hope she has time to read the results yet today or early tomorrow and then calls me tomorrow :)  Stay tuned and keep praying....

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Happy News ....finally!

I got the email on Friday morning that I have been waiting for, for a month now!  They found someone to read the test results and will send the information to me tomorrow! I am so happy and just pray it is favorable news.  So I will send that information to the STL doctor for her evaluation so I am anticipating by Wed. or Thurs. of this week I will know whether I will be traveling to meet this little boy. Thanks for all the well wishes, support and prayers, they are all greatly appreciated :)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Stressful Weekend

Was supposed to get the test results at the end of last week....obvioulsy I didn't get them. So all weekend I was stressed out, trying to decide whether to take that leap of faith and accept to travel without receiving the test results.  I just really don't know what to do. 
I've decided (at least at this moment this is my decision) that if I do not receive the rest results by the end of THIS week, then I am going to accept to travel and pray for the very best. Please keep me in your prayers, I need all I can get! Thanks so much for everyone who supports me and who is reading this.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Tests Sent to Me?

After many responses from the Yahoo Russian adoption message board, they suggested I ask for the test results to be sent to me so I could have my doctor interpret them because they can't find a doctor there to do it. I asked and as expected the answer was no.  I didn't think they would send them but I had to try.
My rep said the orphanage knows how anxious I am and they hope to have the tests read by the end of this week and the answers sent to me. Based on past experience, IF they do get them read by the end of the week, I won't get the answers until the beginning of next week.

I am debating on a huge issue. If they cannot find someone to read the tests this week, I am thinking of traveling anyway.  I am nervous to wait too much longer for fear of losing this referral. However, I cannot financially afford to make another unsuccessful trip. Oh what to do??? People say to sleep on it, which I have been doing for the past two weeks, but actually not getting much sleep because my mind is spinning with all these thoughts.  So more prayers and looking for a sign :)