Unfortunately the stars are not aligned with me so far on this trip....very sad.
The little boy I've been waiting 2 1/2 months to finally see was adorable, with big brown eyes and long eyelashes. Sadly those beautiful eyes cannot make eye contact hardly at all as well as a large lack of reaction to stimuli (i.e. tickling) which is indicative of autisum. This evaluation was done by my independent doctor from Moscow who specializes in pediatric adoptions and is the top in this area as well as being trained in western medicine, so I could understand what she was saying in "American" medical terms. So after I cried yet again, and they sympathetically consoled me, assuring me "my child" was on their way, they took me back to the hotel to take some Tylenol and a nap while they ran around to get the paperwork in order. (that's a part of feeling sorry for myself). I tell you, it was VERY difficult going through that again, but even worse by myself....miss you Beth :)
I tell you what, I am sure learning ALOT about the various pediatric challenges children have, so much so, that I might go to med school....yeah right! The people who know how I freak out at the sight of blood and my low tolerance for pain are laughing at me right about now.So they showed me another referral, a little girl; a photo and basic medical info but from this it was VERY obvious that she has classic fetal alcohol syndrome. So I declined to even meet her because I knew it would not work out and quite frankly did not have the emotional energy for it again in the same day. So they found me a third referral that I am to go see about tomorrow morning, and if it looks good, then I go meet them. I do not know right now if it is a boy or girl or what age. They told us that if I decline this referral, they're going to "boot me out" of this region and send me to another one! I am very upset about this because that means more paperwork, more money and more time. I have already "lost" so much money now, that I have to seriously sit down and think when I return as to whether I will be able to even continue with the adoption process.
So I would appreciate it if you could keep the prayers coming because I am exhausted and losing hope. But maybe after I eat my chocolate bar (found one for $2.00 instead of the $4.00 I paid last time) and a good night's sleep, I will feel more hopeful tomorrow.
Sorry the news is depressing but maybe tomorrow you will get a FABULOUS email from me :) Thanks!
~Amy
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Amy, how heartbreaking! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
ReplyDeleteAmy, my thoughts are with you, I can honestly say, I do know what your going through. Hang in there, stick to you guns, only you know, what you can handle, no one else. Adopting is a life long commitment, you are the one who is going to be raising this child. Amy, also tell them to quit threatening you, and that it is not helping the situation at all. Tomorrow is a new day, until then try to get some sleep. I am praying for you!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your situation. Its a very difficult decision to make but you have to do what you feel is right. We are in the middle of the process as well and already had our first trip. Cant imagine what you are going thru, but hang in there. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDelete:( Sorry Amy. Don't lose the redheaded spunk!!! :) Definitely hoping and praying things go well tomorrow and any delays or challenges are things that can be handled. They threatened this could be it or booted out of the region. At least tell them no threat and you've been kicked out of better places! LoL I will gladly come kick butt for you. It would be a huge loss to at least one child there if they did that.
ReplyDeleteKeep us posted,
~Masha
Saying special prayers for you, even now. Please don't give up hope.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog on and off, and truthfully, I think you need to get a different agency. It seems like your agency is getting all of the "special needs" referrals. There are so many healthy children in the orphanages, and I understand that you want "relatively healthy with minor correctable health conditions". I hope and pray that this next referral of yours is the one. Hold tight to your beliefs.
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