Creativity

Christian has been pretending a box of crayons is a guitar for the last several weeks.  He really ramped up after he saw his cousin Curtis playing his guitar.  Growing up, my parents did everything they could to expose us to as many different things as possible because they said it made a person more well rounded, and I believe that too. So I have been trying to expose Christian to as many different things as I can; music, sports, reading, nature, science, mechanics of how things are made, art, etc.  And with music being a big part of my life, it's natural for me to want to develop this with him if he's interested, and so far it looks like he is.

After searching the stores, I decided on a child's play guitar from Target.  It has a keyboard on the fret and a motion sensor thing when you strum the strings (there are no strings), a zip bar, three settings for music genre and three settings for music type.  Thankfully it also has a volume button!  I bought it yesterday and he's barely put it down.  He's added a little dancing to support his vocals :) I'm happy he likes it and it will be interesting to see how long it holds his interest.  I'm being careful not to push him into anything, just showing him different things exist and he can do what he wants with it.

He still likes soccer and I think before we do another swim class, I'll look into either a baseball or basketball clinic with the YMCA.  These activities are greatly improving his coordination, making his legs stronger and helping him understand how to listen and follow instructions in another atomsphere other than school.  It's really helping his maturity level catch up as well as making our bond even tighter.

Target sponsors free family night at The Magic House, so we went this past Friday. As expected it was packed!  Christian hasn't been there yet and the last time I was there was with my niece and nephew many years ago.  The place has expanded and is more amazing than I remembered.  Christian was so overstimulated, he just ran from one thing to the next in a daze of confusion.  After I managed to slow him down and got him to focus, we were able to actually "do" some of the activities.  We both had a blast, confirmed by his meltdown when we had to leave :)  I asked him what his favorite thing was and he rattled off everything he could remember. Heck, I don't think I could even pick ONE thing as my favorite.

While dodging kids and keeping my eye glued to Christian as he raced around, I took a minute to step back and actually SEE, FEEL and OBSERVE the space, activities, energy and people.  It was creativity in every aspect and I soaked it up and left there feeling refreshed.  Being an Interior Designer people assume you are being creative all the time and see it as being "fun".  While there are many enjoyable elements, being a designer is also about hard work, technical and financial aspects, deadlines, difficult clients, challenging team mates and as expected, office politics.  Lately work has been frustrating, tiring and disappointing and I find myself unhappy more than happy, which I don't want for my life. It's exhausting feeling like you have to fight for respect, for what you've earned, for your chance to finally do "that" creative project.  At times I feel so beat down I just want to give up and say, "do whatever you want and I'll just input it into the computer."  But I just can't bring myself to do it, at least not today.  I have so many ideas I want to try and at 45 yrs old, I'm losing faith that I will be given the chance, at least at the place I work now.  There is still a thread of the good 'ol boys club that exists as well as the office politics of who you suck up to, which I was never very good at.  I was raised to believe that if you do the best you can do each day, do the right thing, always with ethics and integrity, then it will be noticed and you get your chance.  Sorry Dad and Mom, I know you believe that but it's just not the case.

So as I stood in the Magic House, I absorbed the excitement and wonder shining from my little angel's eyes, the huge smile across his face, all wrapped up in the creativity swirling around me and felt peace. I feel the spark of the creative energy again, the excitement of "what if".  It has given me so many ideas of what's possible.  I just have to decide if my workplace will help me achieve something or if I have to find other avenues.  I am cautious, yet hopeful, I can use my creativity moving forward and Christian is my inspiration, as always :)
~Amy